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Ray Rice Revisited – Fears for Janay
Last night I enjoyed an evening with new friends. The topic that I wrote about 2 months ago in one of my featured posts on this blog came up again as we talked about the #Ray Rice situation and where...
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Calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline
Since the debacle involving Ray Rice, Commissioner Goodell and the NFL, the numbers of calls related to domestic violence have gone up. In Los Angeles, the calls have increased 18%, with the calls in...
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Support: Dating After A Traumatic Relationship
Am I in a safe relationship? Can I trust this person? Can I trust myself not to repeat the past? These are just a few of the questions that have plagued me over the last few years while trying to find...
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Is it Love or Something Else?
You are overwhelmed by a powerful feeling that you just have to go back to your abusive partner after you’ve gone through all of the difficulty of leaving the relationship. You have allowed enough time...
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What’s Healthy, What Isn’t . . . . Who Knows?
It’s the Holiday Season. Time for jokes about “Family Drama.” It’s the time when we all go back home and re-visit our “normal.” Or we may just choose to remember it – from a distance. Over my decades...
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Don’t Be Fooled – The Movies Can’t Teach You About Healthy Love
In the movies, we learn a lot about love. We learn that it should feel like this . . . . In the movies, quirky imperfect people meet, fight, fall in love, pretend they aren’t in love and then kiss. And...
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How Can Love Be Confused With Addiction?
Addiction is defined by Psychology Today like this: Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (e.g., alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (e.g., gambling,...
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Understanding Guilt Can Help You Eliminate it
Guilt is a fairly common experience for victims and survivors of domestic violence and persists through all stages of healing. Before you are able to escape from your abusive relationship, your abuser...
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“Guilty” is NOT a Life Sentence
Sadistic words spoken to an innocent: “What’s the matter with you?” These are the words that inspire shame and a sense of doubt that I can do anything right. They are the words that taught me: I am...
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Support: You’re A Single Parent Not A Mutant Failure
“You didn’t fail. The relationship failed.” The group therapist looked earnestly at a room of somewhat bewildered women. If one has children, one of the greatest fears is a failed relationship. The...
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FREE Relationship Rights Checklist to Help You Claim The Healthy Love You...
If you’ve been hurt in your relationship, it’s natural and normal for you to want to “harm proof” yourself. The most common request in survivor groups is for information about how to avoid attracting...
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Thoughtful Thursday: Tolerating Distress
Everyone who wants to enact a self-healing process must first learn how to deal with distress. I spoke in a previous post about how to avoid getting overwhelmed by feelings identified in therapy....
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Tamara’s Sister – Journey of Self-Love
Today I want to do something special and teach a little lesson about self love. I’d like to do that by introducing you to my beautiful sister! She’s always been beautiful. Now, she’s taking the courage...
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Thoughtful Thursday: Pleasurable Activities List
Thoughtful Thursday posts are focused on assisting you with managing your emotions connected with the stresses of relationship disappointments. Whether you are trying to overcome disappointed, hurt or...
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Getting Ready for Healthy Love is Like Being Able to Tell When You’re Full
Have you been hurt in love? Are you ready for healthy love? Getting ready for love requires the ability to use your internal signals to help you know what is right for you and what isn’t. Today I’m...
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Do You Mold Yourself to Please Others?
An essential step in the self-growth journey is learning to love yourself regardless of what others want you to be. Do you mold yourself to please others? My beautiful sister has been living the...
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Do You Sacrifice Your Needs Unnecessarily?
When it comes to being true to who you are in relationship, it’s easy to let old habits take over. It’s easy to sacrifice your needs unnecessarily – especially if you’ve been hurt in the past. When old...
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Do You Know How to Use Anger Constructively?
You can learn how to use anger constructively. You don’t need to be afraid of it. Anger is a common emotion. I often refer to it as secondary. It doesn’t usually pop up until you’ve been feeling...
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How To Successfully Harness Angry Energy To Get What You Need
In a previous post I asked you if you know how to use your anger constructively. This post describes how to harness angry energy to get your needs met. If you’ve been hurt in a relationship with an...
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Feeling Resentful? You’re Carrying Too Much Responsibility
Feeling resentful? For women in abusive relationships, resentment is a common experience. It comes from an imbalance of responsibility. Your partner leaves responsibility to you for things that should...
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